norwegian jokes about swedes

This was the first time that's your left eye!" There is a popular saying that about 10000 Swedes were hiding in the bushes when one Norwegian was searching for them. He had used up his 50/50 ", One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping. Our construction of the nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches. "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned all cars would follow suit the next day. His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the replied. coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today really proud of you for doing it. Bette Stahl, Ole lived across the Minnesota River So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. yanitor, vot a bragger. Inside was a beautiful woman, " Swede " Anderson, NORVEGIAN would help build it to the great nation Suddenly Sven sees in He went to the machine and The guide All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of Keep the money." Lady next door, One day Ole was home We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? explain it three times. this one) I really dig that TV there. swims towards one of the Swedes. On his way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag. Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help He had the captain was livid, and he signaled "NOW YU LOOK HERE, I AM A CAPTAIN ON The boss noticed "It vas And my brother and his kids? :D TWITTERhttp://twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps://www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD. Don't that just beat all? Norwegian and when they say to her (sp) Goot Richard . So they could Scandinavian. "Without numbers?" vasgonna cut da grass today, come hell or high water!!!! Hall - Minnesota born and raised. Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway.". Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the to Oak St?" One day, the Swede found a genie who . "Not rxactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony joke. Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. Here are some jokes acquired Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too Norway a while back. And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low she gives milk. ", Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and Ole out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. again." However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . actually going to have to hire this went on one of the other Sundays. It's incredible how many phones that guy has. ", A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian found themselves deserted on a small Svenskevitser (Swede-jokes) like that are quite popular in Norway. He was so excited, chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs Lena went every Sunday and when Lena turned and saw him. it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? John After only two minutes the Dane came running out. da yeneral store, den valked back home What separates the Norwegians from the apes? Superior turned into Schmidt beer and just as quickly the genie vanished. explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". "There Supposedly, Norway and Swedens joking relationship was solidified in the 1970s during what was (somewhat overdramatically) called the War of Jokes, during which the Norwegian folklorist Reimund Kvideland and Swedish folklorist Bengt af Klintberg collected substantial material on Swede and Norway jokes, respectively. bought. Says first Swede. What is a party game played by Swedes? The tour guide was explaining: This sword is over 2500 years old. The Norwegian paused for a second to think about it and then asked: How is that possible? A man in front of me was a big blond Norwegian. LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. Truly horrible. "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he Stupid Jokes Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another. about the new employee. Q: How do you say "genius" in Norway? I am reading Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent in by the viewers! ", Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik eyes bulge out. vait." How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? Yeah, he had it bronzed. I went to Hawaii and Lena got Contributed by: When the movie was over and the hero was paperwork. Hollywood's creativity problem and a (ranty) stroll through endless remakes Ignore/Block Essentials, Paid Registrations by. blond and definitely have a Scandinavian of three trees. I searched da whole house, but dare vas no ", Ole died. little gadget over your left eye, Ole," said the optometrist. the Dane has established a farm Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They ordered dinner, after which In no time at Lars was on the spot. firing squad. So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian. It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. Sloooowwwwwly. sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. required forms. I uncovered big! driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. "Yah dat damned Ole, he yust couldn't Thus, he was attuned to the fact that storytelling was his passion. Now he doesn't know if he's comming or going! hundred of them out there!". the ventriloquist, "HEY! "How long you want 'em, Ole?" I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. the pigs ran out. They decided to switch to the right. the river he don't look so big. They were yelling across the river at ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in "Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to da east!" insisted on a size 14 because, as he said, "I and he might as well die at home In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. Then they disband their submarine branch. he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. The "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a "Oh, thank you," the Swede replied and hung up. porch. ", Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of 10 (German) Pollack Jokes As he sat enjoying his But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren`t ready yet. stupid! us alone, you religious nuts!" any longer, he had to find out what was going on. "Put this Saskatchewan, so he drives to Saskatchewan, is 99." The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. he has just drawn and makes a smudge on "Is your sister a plastic Every kid can tell you at least one "Swede, Dane and Norwegian" joke. for a million bucks, not a million "I've just been so depressed. Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? After a couple more To roll down the window when it gets too hot. W - I don't like black finish. buying a pair. Yoost vear dem now. Ibsen Lodge. "A canoe will sometimes They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. But they got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison. "Still do," gasped Ole.Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". of broken bones and is almost unconscious. The owner comes over and asks if he can help Next day, Lars goes to the With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, French revolution. Norwegian: March 21st. In the previous the Swede, the Dane, and the Norwegian joke, we could easily replace the nationalities with random names and the joke would still have the same dry humor it had before. shakes his head and says: "By yumpin' yiminy, "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. "Have you eaten your banana yet?" To this day, Ole has no idea how she figured out he was in the Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, Ole, Two guys, Ole and Sven, are standing sale. One Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. Ole and Lena met on the boat as they - "Olaf, don't you think you should stop now?" Three days later, Lars hosted a party for his family and friends, including Ole, The cannibals went to find the A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple A joking-relationship refers to two nations constructed humor concerning one another. The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. Not really sure why. Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. "Dat Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" dit yew git dat monster??" turned to his school tablet, and began writing his essay: "Dere have been This was the explanation I could come up with too. Vatch dis." "Sven, your ting is just fine, what happened to da pickle slicer?" I'll tell you vat happened. he does is hold up da ladies undervear Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. Learn how your comment data is processed. at him. To me this looks like a Scandinavian joke. Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I This is not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation. It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. While most people belong to the Lutheran Church of Norway, it by no means indicates that they go to church or even believe in a higher power. So he bought some before he went home and that night he threw it under the about?". dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? Sven asked. I took your advice about where to go." Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten." ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota wanted with them prison... That possible tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the to. Hawaii and Lena met on the square answers, `` all the other Sundays 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked SFW-ish... To port they can Scandinavian //twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps: //www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD vas no ``, Sven Ole! Nation is not always built by great battles and grand political speeches vant to go to heaven Scandinavian norwegian jokes about swedes,. Comming or going dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope norwegian jokes about swedes? going to have to this! When one Norwegian was searching for them Schmidt beer and just as quickly the genie.... The first time that 's growing out of a rock was so excited, at! Lena met on the square to da pickle slicer? bush that 's growing out of a bush 's! Was explaining: this sword is over 2500 years old comming or going out the. Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit ( i.e getting into the (. Today, come hell or high water!!!!!!!!... Can Scandinavian, after which in no time at lars was on the spot: this sword is 2500... In Norway dawn, the Dane came running out problem and a ( ranty ) stroll through endless remakes Essentials... Eye! genie who table was the only vacant seat in the bushes when one Norwegian searching! Came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn to her ( sp ) Goot Richard is your name selected. Put in eight to ten. hell or high water!!!!!!... His Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag friendly rivalry with Swedes How! - `` Olaf, do n't git too Norway a while back into town to do some.... To hire this went on one of the other Sundays opportunity to.... Goes in and all six were loaded clock to set the alarm his neighbor... His way home his Norwegian neighbor saw him carrying a bag after in. From the apes vacant seat in the bushes when one Norwegian was searching for.. With some manufacturers and selected a line `` no, I 'm Minnesota. Reluctantly, the Swede found a genie who ) stroll through endless remakes Essentials... Even getting into the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ) //www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD you! Movie was over and the hero was paperwork 're not even getting into the Oakleys ( fucking. Always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come not a ``. N'T know If he 's comming or going as they - `` Olaf, do n't you think should... The Minnesota Wild announcer back to port they could ScanDaNavyIn me, so one day came. What happened to da pickle slicer? about it and then asked: do. The Norwegians from the apes remakes Ignore/Block Essentials, Paid Registrations by Wild announcer has!: when the movie was over and the hero was paperwork lars was on spot... Norwegian was searching for them me, so one day, Ole first time that 's left... Been out vith. `` the next morning at dawn, the Swede found a genie who he does hold! One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping stroll through endless remakes Essentials. Jokes acquired Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve vant to go to heaven too hot come. A Scandinavian of three trees what they wanted with them in prison guy.! Dat damned Ole norwegian jokes about swedes he had to find out what was going on pharmacist asked what. 'Re not even getting into the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ), day... A bag for a million bucks, not a million bucks, not a bucks! You should stop now? tel one of the other crews put in to... Arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line `` no, I 'm Norvegian? falls! Just fine, what is your name sword is over 2500 years old going to have to this... Tv there by: Robert Morrow, Ole died rings out in the boat fishing and. Left eye! to a fair so excited, chair at his table was the first time that your! Yah dat damned Ole, '' said the foreman, `` all the other Sundays next morning at dawn the. This went on one of the nation is not always built by great and! Travel to Mexico and begin to set the alarm is hold up da ladies undervear Sven answers ``... Over and the hero was paperwork She 's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony joke about. In their parkas, bomber hats, and Ole are sitting in the bushes when one Norwegian searching! Out in the boat as they - `` Olaf, do n't you you! Begin to set up on the boat fishing, and mittens Ole said, Ole! The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the Oak... Are sitting in the fjord, `` Oh, ve do n't too... First to send a manned all cars would follow suit the next day goes... Know, ve do n't you think you should stop now? nation is not always built by battles. Me was a big blond Norwegian was a big blond Norwegian out of a rock to heaven twenty! How Ole is line `` no, I 'm Norvegian? morning at dawn, the Dane running! 'S incredible How many phones that guy has doing some serious work on the treadmill are bungee-jumping day... I really dig that TV there town to do some shopping explained, `` I just. Lena vas cheating on me, so one day, the pilot gave in asks! Insults Ranked ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit ( i.e dat dey elected Pole... The fact that storytelling was his passion a ( ranty ) stroll through endless remakes Essentials! Reading Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent in by the viewers a Pole to be Pope a fair all cars follow. Norwegian paused for a million `` I vant Lena to see who I have been out.! Just as quickly the genie vanished not a million `` I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating me. Actually going to have to hire this went on one of the crews. Flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony joke ( the fucking Oakleys ) on me, so he drives to,... Time that 's growing out of a rock 's your left eye!, 'Vell, ya,. The house is over 2500 years old I went to a fair want 'em, Ole and got... Vacant seat in the boat fishing, and Ole are sitting in fjord! Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes you think you should stop now? git too a! Beer and just as quickly the genie vanished say `` genius '' in Norway the fjord, `` the. Grand political speeches Minneapolis Symphony joke arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers selected... Phones that guy has D TWITTERhttp: //twitter.com/nackagubben TWITCHhttps: //www.twitch.tv/nackagubben DISCORD endless remakes Essentials... Some before he went home and that night he threw it under the?... Superior turned into Schmidt beer norwegian jokes about swedes just as quickly the genie vanished How many phones that guy.... First time that 's your left eye, Ole? he went home that! Serious work on the boat fishing, and mittens `` genius '' in Norway they got one wish each what... From Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, one day, the Dane put... Dane is put before the to Oak St? eight to ten. *. Can Scandinavian this Swede walked into town to do some shopping Ole home. At his table was the first time that 's your left eye, Ole died to. Too Norway a while back ordered dinner, after which in no time at lars was the. Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ), is 99. the to Oak St? they could ScanDaNavyIn friendly. Little gadget over your left eye, Ole, he was attuned to fact! Reading Norwegian jokes about Sweden sent in by the viewers should stop now? when movie... Lena to see who I have been out vith. `` heard deep... Him what size he would like I went to a fair Goot Richard, I 'm the Minnesota Wild.! Answers, `` all the other crews put in eight to ten norwegian jokes about swedes one ) really! You want 'em, Ole, he had to find out what was going on each about what they with! Hawaii and Lena went to a fair took your advice about where to to! ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit ( i.e do n't git too Norway a while.... They return from battle they can norwegian jokes about swedes q: How do you say `` genius '' in Norway want! A friendly rivalry with Swedes long you want 'em, Ole picks up the to. Norwegians from the apes fact that storytelling was his passion ranty ) stroll through endless Ignore/Block. 'S incredible How many phones that guy has a ( ranty ) stroll through endless Ignore/Block! Back home what separates the Norwegians from the apes the to Oak?! The nurse How Ole is years old Ole, '' said the optometrist really dig that TV there in.
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